Conscious Loving - Using the Law of Attraction for Love

Conscious loving is about learning to become more aware of the unconscious relationship patterns that lead you to take actions that are not for your best interests.

So many people want to know if they can use the law of attraction to attract a 'certain someone'. The law of attraction doesn't work that way really. It is more about becoming more conscious of how you create your own relationships. You get what you are committed to having so if you are single and alone you are committed to getting that. If you are in a bad relationship - you are committed to having that too. It isn't about blaming you. It is about learning to take personal responsibility for loving. Love isn't a feeling which is confusing to so many.

Most of what people are feeling when they have a crush on someone is usually unhealthy attachment and not love. Life is a process of learning to bond and separate. It is a constant ebb and flow. Our patterns of bonding and separating are created in the fist 3 years of life when interacting with our caregivers.

As adults we often still want to bond and separate based on those early experiences. We crave being held and loved unconditionally but as adults we can never really get that infant nurturing. We can grieve the loss of never having that and that will improve our abilities to bond and separate.

Unconscious relationships are based on co-dependent patterns of bonding and separating. When you are co-dependent you don't have relationships - you have entanglements and inequality. Each persons freedoms are limited and dependent on the other. It is based on control and approval. It is an unconscious process usually until the couple works to become more conscious of the reasons why they are behaving as they do. The hard part is that it is unconscious!

To become more conscious it is important to start paying more attention to the way you are feeling. Your feelings will tell you when you are believing and old co-dependent pattern. If you are feeling anything but love and joy you can know you are not being true to yourself. It isn't that these feelings aren't real. It is learning that these feelings are just there to show you your unconscious parts of yourself. It requires that both parties in the relationship take responsibility for their own actions. It can be a very painful process to become more aware and it is best done with a skilled therapist or church group.